Karen McMahon, Certified Divorce Coach, was our guest this week on THE Amicable Divorce Expert podcast and she focused on the importance of knowing the 7 Levels of Emotional Energy. Not only is it important for divorce professionals – attorneys, mediators, paralegals, and judges – to understand these levels so that they can understand their client’s behavior, and to know how to proceed in the services that they provide, but it’s important for those going through divorce to understand their emotional level as it will translate into how decisions for their settlement are made: The lower the level the worst the decision-making.

Karen was inspiring as she went through each level for us, and explained how to work within that level, how to move above that level, and how to translate the emotional level into thought, feeling, action.  McMahon equaled the journey through the emotional levels by comparing it to an Emotional Elevator. The elevator goes both up and down. With any major life event affecting our energetic core, we can change emotional levels depending on how that life event impacts our lives.

Here are the 7 Emotional Levels: Apathy, Anger, Forgiveness, Compassion, Peace, Joy, Absolute Passion. In  my divorce mediation and filing practice, I was always under the impression that Forgiveness was the ultimate goal in reaching harmony within, in order to negotiate a better settlement and move on with life faster.  While Forgiveness may get us at least to a position in which we can make good settlement decisions, I now see that there are four more levels to bring us to a place where we can experience life in the best way possible, living out our dreams and living life in the way that suits us individually.

Think about someone you know who lives in Absolute Passion. Notice how happy they are on a regular basis. Consider how joyful they behave, how peaceful they are, which gives rise to their compassion for people.  I was watching a documentary on Justin Bieber. As a young child his joy and passion for life exuded out of him as he expressed himself musically. He had unbounded energy, his countenance was bright and happy, and he was focused on his form of self-expression, music.  When he was older and on grueling tours, he wanted to perform, even when he was sick. He thought of the audience who were waiting for him in their towns, and even when ill, he wanted to remain committed to performing.

I wonder what the world would be like if we all lived in Absolute Passion and Joy with the people who chose to be in our lives, the work we chose to do for self-expression and financial support, and the influence Absolute Passion and Joy would have on us when we met life challenges? I believe the frequencies that the two highest levels of emotional energy emit serve as our guidance system for moving through the learning lessons of life – divorce, death, betrayal, disappointment – quicker and with optimism for our future.  Passionate and joyful people can work through anything because their inner selves are nourished, their place in life self-defined, and their ability to reevaluate the people in their lives so that they are surrounded by similar energy.

It’s okay, and in fact imperative, that we focus on our joy and passion, and meet our obligations from a perspective of what will make us joyful and how this fits our absolute passion. If we can make life choices that support our personal joy and passion we can get through any of life’s hardships, like divorce, and continue to grow in peace.