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On THE Amicable Divorce Expert podcast we ask the question: Can everyone be happy?:

Let’s start with the definition of Happiness: Happiness is an emotional state characterized by feelings of joy, satisfaction, contentment, and fulfillment.

Aristotle distinguished between Four Levels of Happiness: 1) Happiness from material objects; Ego gratification; Happiness from doing good for others, and making the world a better place.

There are Three Keys to Happiness: 1)  Pleasure in doing things you enjoy; 2) Engagement in feeling interested in your activities and connection to others; 3) Meaning by feeling what you do matters.

11 Golden Rules to Stay Happy All the Time by Dr. Khoobsurat Najma

1. Wake Up with a Positive Thought: Every morning when you open your eyes, wake with your version of “My purpose today is to …”
2. Spend Time with Yourself: Take a 15-30 minute walk daily. Smile when you walk. Practice the art of sitting in silence for 10 minutes daily.
3. Live Each Day to its Fullest: Live each day with the 3 E’s of Energy, Enthusiasm, Empathy.
4. Make the Right Food Choices: Remember, you are what you eat. Eat foods grown in fields and less of those that are manufactured. Drink plenty of water to cleanse your system.
5. Spread Happiness: The golden rule of happiness is that “the more you make others happy the happier you will be”. Try to make at least three people smile every day. Make sure you have a hearty laugh, and smile more.
6. Declutter: Keep your surroundings clutter-free. This will make way for a positive flow of energy.
7. Introspect: Remember that life is a constant learning process. The problems that you face right now will eventually help you emerge stronger and with a lesson learnt for life.
8. Learn to Let Go: Be more forgiving.Everyone around you is facing challenges just like you. Do not let hate consume you. Let go of negative people and stay away from negative situations. Do not compare your life with others. You have no idea what they have been through.
9. Show Love: The thing about love is that it has to be shown.Take out time for your friends and family.
10. Embrace Criticism: You have no control over what others think of you. But what you can control is how you respond to it.
11. Sleep with Gratitude: Before you go to bed, remind yourself what you are grateful for and what you liked doing the most during the day.

And from me, as a divorce mediator, here are my thoughts:

How do you know what really makes you happy? It’s your gut, the expression on your face, and your energy.

Can you be happy during a divorce? Unless you have a chemical imbalance in your body, yes, at certain times that you build into your day with an enjoyable activity, after doing a lot of grieving, and after getting rid of blame, either self-blame or the blame placed on the other spouse.

Happiness and Blame cannot live together.

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